Embarrassing Story #2

Yes, it's that time again- another embarrassing story about Kevin!

This little tale once again comes from my early childhood, when I was living along the Erie Canal in Chittenango, NY. (Wow, I'm starting to sound like my mother. For as long as I can remember, she would always tell stories that began with, "When I was a little girl back in Ohio..." ...wow.) So I was like, four or five, and I was supposed to be sleeping one night.

But I wasn't. For some reason, I couldn't fall asleep. I'm not sure what it was that kept me from going to sleep, since it couldn't have been too early (7:30, 8pm?). Perhaps it was watching some strange cartoons, like Banana Man. Wait... you don't know Banana Man? ...well, that's okay. (Kids these days!) Anyway... I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time, but eventually I did.

I wish I hadn't. I had such a hard time falling asleep that I didn't have a normal dream: I had a nightmare. All I know is that it was dark - like I was in some huge warehouse that was pitch black except for a single, small spotlight shining in the middle. So I was surrounded by darkness, and began to walk toward this little light. And I remember feeling creeped out: I felt like there was an orchestra nearby that was playing that kind of freaky, "Someone's going to come up behind you!" music. But no one did.

Then I saw it. As I came closer to this place where the spotlight was, and the creepy music got louder, I saw it. The... the... the biggest hamburger I'd ever seen in my entire life!!! It was massive: several stories high, way bigger than I could ever hope eat in my lifetime. It seemed so foreboding- as if it could do something to harm me; I was terrified. But what was I to do? There was no hope that I could fit any piece of it in my mouth! I was only five! I was going to be killed by this giant hamburger and there was nothing I could do to stop it! It was hopeless, simply hopeless.

And that's when I woke up, crying. I ran downstairs where my parents were watching TV. I was sobbing and started babbling to them about my dream, where this giant hamburger was trying to kill me and I COULDN'T FIT IT IN MY MOUTH!!! ....well, as I mentioned in my last story, my parents were great and were probably stifling their laughter as best they could, and just did their best to comfort me and convince me that I wasn't going to die, least of all at the hands of a giant hamburger.

Ahhhhh. Parents are so comforting.



Keep checking back here for the next embarrassing story: "Being A Geek At A Young Age"