Embarrassing Story #1

Keeping with the facts that last Sunday was Easter and that I promised to put some embarrassing stories about myself up here, I am about to share a story which not too many people know.

It takes place when I was about five or six or so and was living in Chittenango, NY, right next to the Erie Canal. It was a smallish house, and my brother and I shared a room decorated with Disney characters (jeez, how many embarrassing things am I really giving away here?).

Anyway. When I was little, I apparently was easily scared/bothered by things that didn't look like mom or dad or, you know, normal people. So around Easter, you hear of this "bunny" that comes to leave you candy, right? The Easter Bunny. The bane of my existence. So this one year, when I was five or six (seven? eight? twenty?), I think I refused to sit on his lap at the mall and subsequently cried when my parents attempted to get my picture taken with him anyway. Back at home, I was so scared of the Easter Bunny that the night before Easter I was crying and telling my parents that I didn't want him coming in our house. I wouldn't go to sleep until my parents had written a note to the Easter Bunny and taped it up on the front door for him. It said something along the lines of: "Dear Easter Bunny, please don't come in our house. I'm scared of you. Please just leave the Easter baskets out on the porch." (I'm sure my mother could quote it word for word). My parents, being great and humoring their stupid, crying kid, dutifully taped up the note and, sure enough, when I woke up the next morning the Easter baskets were out on the front porch just as I asked. Kevin: 1, Easter Bunny: 0.

....now, my memory fails me as to if this was the only time this happened or not. I can only remember one year when I asked them to put the note up, but maybe it happened for a few years. I don't remember. My mom still has the note tucked away in some box somewhere, and occasionally brings it out to embarrass me.

I know, I know... scared of the Easter Bunny? Who's scared of the Easter Bunny? ....well, I was. And I still kind of am. I mean, just look at that picture above. Bunnies are supposed to be small... how would you feel if you really saw a 6' rabbit? That's right, you'd freak out and call the cops. And who, in their right mind, lets a 6' rabbit roam around in their home? Not me, that's who. It's not that I'm ungrateful or anything; just drop the candy on the porch and get off my property before I get my dad's gun.



Keep checking back here for the next embarrassing story: "Dreams Don't Have To Make You Cry"